You didn’t call me back.
You’re right, I didn’t call you back. I’m guilty.
When I’m in a Recovery Cycle it could take me a few days.
I don’t know much about astrology but I know about emotional Recovery Cycles. I wish more people did cause its causes so much more emotional pain to not know!
Over the past few weeks seems like there’s something up astrologically around emotions because emotional relationship challenges have popped up everywhere. Emotions run in cycles. Statistics say 90% of all arguments come from mis-communications. Really? You mean it’s not because you didn’t put the toothpaste cap back on?
When I’m hurt or defensive, I follow a pattern, a cycle. I used to think the hurts were about licking the wounds of my pride and ego but I’ve come to realize that’s only a very small part of what’s happening.
When I feel hurt, I don’t want to call you back. Give me a few days cause I have to ride it out in what I now realize is a Recovery Cycle. My Recovery Cycle kind of looks like this. First I crawl into bed and hide under the covers for at least a few hours, preferably an entire day – unlikely I get to indulge in a whole day with my schedule but certainly whole days are desirable and delicious! In my womblike tent I read or watch a movie and go away from my external world to a fantasy land. Next I want to eat a big meal of yummy nurturing warm mushy foods, like soft, creamy mashed potatoes with vegan pizza! Heaven.
Then a hot bath. The cycle must include the luxury of talking to no one! No returned phone calls, no responding to emails, no nights out with friends casually connecting. I curl up in my little ball and relish in it. After some time, I’m ready to pop my head out from under the blanket. Next important step, sulk for at least a few hours, perhaps days, just enough to engender worried looks from my family and closest friends, and then, I’m ready to return to the world. Doesn’t that sound yummy?!
What would it be like if you could identify your own Recovery Cycle and give yourself full permission to relish in it? How about identifying your spouse’s cycle and supporting their wallowing without contributing judgment? These cycles are important adaptations for us. They’re ways we adjust to life circumstances. The hitch is, sometimes, the cycles can be self-destructive or destructive to others. I’ll explain about that in the 8 week online course, “Release Emotional Energy Blocks and Heal.”
The moral of the story…Give yourself permission to have Recovery Cycles! Be curious about how you re-group. Don’t take it personally when some cycles your way. When you’re in a Recovery Cycle, just notice. Be mindful of how it impacts those around you. While in your Recovery Cycle, lean in a direction of greater awareness and self-acceptance and love. Be gentle and see if you can find ways to use your Recovery Cycle gently with nurturing self-care rather than destructive thinking or acting out. Most importantly, if you use it well, your Recovery Cycle is a great coping mechanism that can help you self-regulate challenging emotions and circumstances in your life.
Laura L Fine, Lionheart Institute Founder