SARAH GETS HER LIFE BACK FROM
THE "BOOGIE MEN"
A Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a small child lived in a white
house with her parents and a cat. Sarah thought
having her own room was neat; and she liked having
the cat as her friend. And sometimes she thought
that the adults, including her parents, took advantage
Sarah saw them get what they wanted
simply because they were bigger. Once she felt very
hurt and angry. It was unbearable, and the adults
were no help. She wished for an adult on her side;
one to make them do what she thought was fair. But
there was no one to help.
Nevertheless, she was determined to
survive, and she did. Sarah imagined a strong door
of oak planks and iron locks, like the ones in a
castle. She stuffed the hurt and anger deep into
the part of herself behind the door, locking it
away, as if it were some frightful boogieman. She
used the worst of her pain to paint a terrible warning
on the door lest she wander into this frightful,
helpless place again. Then she left, never went
back and pretended it had never happened.
This worked, but soon after she was
hurt again. This time she just quickly locked that
boogieman up with the first one, and survived. As
she grew up, Sarah developed and refined this method
for defending herself from painful emotions. Sometimes
she used that first door, and sometimes she invented
new doors. She forgot how many doors there were,
and how many boogiemen she had stuffed behind them.
Some doors were used for only one kind of emotion,
while others held a variety of scary hurtful boogiemen.
As an adult, Sarah continued to react
toward painful emotions in this helpless way. She
did not use the power of her adult, which she had
so desired as a child. She felt that something was
wrong, but whenever she got close to those doors,
she noticed the pain of her helplessness, anger,
and hurt that she had left herself as a warning-
and so did not investigate her distress.
Sarah avoided the doors. For example,
whenever her husband expressed anger, she did not
respond as an adult. Instead, she felt as if the
boogieman named "Abandonment" had escaped.
She quickly locked him up again and did not tell
her husband about her trouble. Sarah did not heal
with him nor with herself. And there were other
Each boogieman (emotional charge)
was actually her very Life Force, frozen "behind
a door" somewhere within her energy field.
The more energy she locked away, the more awareness
she lost. Eventually her awareness was reduced to
the level of reacting without thinking, every time
she felt threatened by unwanted emotions. As more
and more of her life force became locked within
these blocks, Sarah forgot herself and lost control
of her defensive habit.
Keeping this going also meant pretending
the doors were not there. Sarah had to withdraw
her attention and awareness from a portion of her
own energy field (aura). She stopped using that
part and did not even notice it after awhile. Sarah
came to be out of touch with much of her body, mind,
Finally, many of the doors and much
of the imprisoned life force was located in that
part of her energy field known as the second chakra;
the one which she could have used to support the
creation of her life, including the expression of
healthy emotions, creativity and sexual pleasure.
She didn't use it for that because she had never
really learned how. She had lost her awareness of
these to the boogiemen!
As a result, despite her best efforts,
her life lacked fulfillment in many areas including
sexuality, abundance, and relationship. She was
always feeling like she didn't have the energy to
manifest what she wanted. And without energy, how
could she return this habit to awareness?
Discussion of the Fairy
I have met many people who identify
with this tale. Their boogiemen are not limited
to the second chakra. They suffer discomfort of
spirit, mind, emotions, or body, for want of the
Life Force frozen throughout their energy system.
They have forgotten their boogiemen too. I notice
that when they get energetic and emotional support,
and regain much needed awareness, they often heal
Energy work can play a crucial part
in this type of healing because the more Life force
you receive into your energy system, the more alive
you are; the more consciousness you can reflect
through your awareness.
During a session, I often notice the
recipient's awareness increase as Life force increases
within the energy field. This is the key to how
the Life force provided by the energy healer can
unblock stored emotions and lead to lasting healing.
With the healer's support, the client can apply
this awareness to new insight. The client can choose
to claim the power of her adult and change successful,
but out-dated childhood survival strategies. She
can choose to stop blocking information from her
field, thus restoring perception. Great personal
growth and integration are possible with the increased
awareness and improved perception brought by receiving
more energy into the aura.
The healer can encourage the recipient
to reclaim the frozen Life Force. Once reclaimed,
it is instantly available. Once the Inner Child
is empowered, when she opens the door, she will
notice that the boogieman is not so scary. That
is, she is no longer so helpless. The inner child
will no longer want or need to block the emotional
charge. And once she realizes that she has the power
of choice, she will not always choose to keep such
negative emotions locked so close within herself.
Life Force then floods the blocked portion of the
energy field, creating a great feeling of relaxed
nurturance, and occasionally, a few tears of relief.
Once the inner child becomes aware
of this process she becomes willing to seek out
the doors and face the boogiemen because she can
get the healing she wants. To do this she needs
a few things. First, she needs to be safe when she
opens the door. This can be done with the help of
her adult self, who will hold her hand and anchor
her to the present moment of safety; and the help
of a healer to provide the energy needed to regain
Even after the child has released
the emotional charge, the door remains. What will
happen the next time Sarah feels strong unwanted
emotions? Will she change the habit and retain the
power to choose her thoughts and emotions? Or will
the inner child panic, and stuff a new boogieman
behind the door?
At first, a few mistakes will be made
out of habit. Eventually, she becomes aware of the
habitual reaction as it happens. Then, she will
become aware earlier and earlier in the cycle. Finally,
she will become aware of her habit as soon as it
is initiated, stop the reaction and make a conscious
choice instead. Clients often report the block,
and the door, that is the habit, gone within a few
Copyright, Dan Buffo, August 2004,
all rights reserved.