How to stop fault finding

You know that irresistible feeling, the one you have when you can’t wait to call your friend to tell them, “Can you believe what she did?” Shawna left the party with Benson. She left her husband there, at their own house and left with Benson. Her husband looked absolutely out of it. I don’t know if he was devastated or drunk or what! Can you believe that? What do you think is going on?


Gossip and fault finding are dangerous weapons, not so much to others as to yourself. The damage is three-fold.


One) as soon as you identify a fault in someone else you increase that fault in yourself. What you place your attention on, grows stronger in you.


Two) your pride increases. You feel, “I would never do that.” And the subtle feeling is, “I am better than that person.” Your pride and ego increase and your heart closes.


Three) when your heart closes, you lose your feelings of connection with others. Then isolation and loneliness increase. Often you don’t notice the loneliness until you stop being busy and are alone. When your mind is not distracted by the company of others, the tv’s off, you shut down the phone and computer and there’s quiet for a minute, you notice your own loneliness.


Many run from quiet. In the quiet moments you face yourself. What lives in your quiet moments? How do you truly feel about yourself?


Here’s a few steps you can practice to help you feel good about who you are at the end of the day.


  1. Do a random act of kindness, anonymously. Don’t tell anyone what you did.
  2. Practice losing an argument on purpose, not having the last word with a significant other. It will increase your feelings of humbleness.
  3. If someone criticizes you, thank them. Even if you inwardly disagree, look for the grain of truth in their criticism.

 Laura FineLaura L Fine, Lionheart Founder

Managing fault finding and gossip in your relationships is part of the healing process. Lionheart Institute of Transpersonal Energy Healing teaches you how to heal yourself, facilitate healing for others and build a career as an Energy Healing Counselor. Lionheart offers a FREE introductory course each month. To sign up for the next one go to