(The following story is based on the hypothetical merging of several real life cases to depict an all too common dilemma of both men and women in sexual relationships.)
L.J. is a single woman in her early 40’s. She came to see me because she felt her biological clock ticking and the window for her dream of having a child, closing. The more desperate she felt, the more she scared away the men she was dating. She was locked in a vicious cycle she didn’t know how to break.
As we explored her relationships with men, a few interesting facts unfolded. She was fine just “accidentally” getting pregnant. Even though she preferred to have a family, she confided she wasn’t using safe sex in order to get pregnant. Financially she was in no position to responsibly raise a child as a single parent, and emotionally she had some ungrounded (1st chakra) distorted beliefs that having a child would make her happy.
When we discussed the realities of her life situation should she have a child as a single mom, the reality of a very difficult lifestyle began to dawn on her. L.J. began to realize her tendency to fantasize that situations or person(s) would bring her the inner peace and happiness she was seeking. As she allowed herself to grieve the loss of her childlike magical thinking, L.J. started to deeply relax into her body and her Root chakra, Sacral (sexual) chakra and Heart chakras began to open.
We discussed the specific men in her life. She’d been chasing Tom, who was married but separated. Hoping he would leave divorce his wife, she was now able to feel the emptiness of their intimacy and acknowledge their relationship was based primarily on sexual gratification.
We next focused her attention on Jorge. L.J. worked in the accounting office of a construction company, and though they had infrequent direct contact, he was clearly interested in her. He was a laborer, a simple man who was looking to be in a solid committed relationship. And though she was attracted to him as a person, L.J. didn’t feel the sexual fireworks she had with Tom. They had never dated but she knew if she gave him the green light, it could happen.
A practical exercise to open sexual energy blocks:
Here’s the practical exercise I promised you. Whether you are single or in a long term relationship, if you practice this exercise twice a day for 10 minutes, before being intimate and you’ll find your experience profoundly enhanced!
How to Open Sexual Energy Before Intimacy:
Select a person you know whose company you enjoy and do not feel sexually attracted to. (They don’t have to be present for you to try this exercise.) Meditate on what you like about them. As you reflect on their positive qualities place your hands on your lower belly and focus on this area of your pelvis, your Sacral chakra. Bring your breath and conscious energy to this area. This is not just your sexual center, it’s your creative energy center. Imagine this center slowly opening, petal by petal, with each breath, like a flower. Do not expect to feel lust, just look for sweetness and a pleasant feeling. Sexual chemistry expresses itself in a myriad of subtle ways. Just breathe, observe and notice.
I had L.J. practice this exercise, 10 minutes, twice a day for 7 days straight.
The next time L.J. ran into Jorge, she noticed her attitude toward him felt different. She asked him if he’d like to go for coffee. His face lit up when she did and she reported to me that she felt an unexpected, spontaneous flush throughout her body. She didn’t know if she’d be attracted when they went out, but she opened the door to the possibility of it for the first time with someone who was clearly emotionally available.
If you are ready to open yourself to greater emotional intimacy and personal healing,
TOMORROW, On September 15, Lionheart is LAUNCHING an 8 week online course,
Release Emotional Energy Blocks and Heal.
This course is currently sold for $97 on our website.
LAUNCH SPECIAL PRICE OF $25
if you purchase it on September 15 through www.DailyOm.com.
In this eight part series, you’ll recognize common denominators from each of the contributing experts to help you unwind ingrained emotional patterns that limit your life and cause you pain. You’ll come to understand why and how the thought patterns of “you should or should not know better but do anyway” occur.
YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO:
- Release negative emotions
- Have a healing meditation to boost your health
- Get centered when you feel out of balance
- Calm yourself when emotions upset you
- Discharge emotional tension from your body
- Get clarity to handle difficult emotions
- Gain objectivity and be less judgmental
Each week for eight weeks you will receive an audio lesson where I interview experts, Dani Antman, Robert Jokel and Deborah Allen in the field of Transpersonal Energy Healing.