How to break a bad habit

Transitions are tough. Everything in our physiology naturally goes into resistance when facing a transition. The brain loves to create patterns. With patterns (even, unfortunately, negative, destructive patterns), you find comfort simply because the pattern is known to you.

Patterns help us feel stable. But what about the patterns that start out as healthy and after time become unhealthy. For example, a drink after dinner starts out as a way to relax, but slowly over time, you find yourself dependent on it for relaxation. Stopping at the gym every night on the way home from work started out as a good idea when your wife was in a bad mood but slowly turned into a way to avoid her instead of staying in the ring to work through the difficult conversations.

If you grew up in a home where there was a lot of unpredictability you may find yourself challenged when going through transitions. Patterns of transition are imprinted in our cellular memory and are often paradoxical, having contrasting characteristics and as a result transitions can cause emotional distress.

For example, you might be wonderfully resilient in crisis because you were the oldest of four siblings and learned to make big (adult) decisions quickly to take care of your younger siblings. However, now as an adult, you find yourself burdened because of your automatic tendency to take on more than your share of responsibility for others and end up feeling resentful. Your brilliance leadership in your childhood helped you survive childhood challenges but now this tendency (subconsciously) interferes with your adult relationships and health.

To grow we must change. When change occurs, the early cellular wiring, rebels. Our cells have LOTS of needs when going through big changes. It can be super helpful to know how to dialogue with you cells. A healing dialogue between your cells and higher mind, might sound something like this…

Cells: What on earth do you think you’re doing!!!?

 Higher Mind: You know we have to ________________ . (Fill in the blank with YOUR transition, ie. “Move.” “Break-up.” “Quit that job I can’t stand anymore.” “Go to that doctor’s appointment I’ve been avoiding.” “Purchase that house that’s more than I thought I could spend.”)

Cells: No, no, we have a routine, its status quo. We’re good. Don’t do it! You feed us junk food when we’re nervous and if you stop, I’ll have cravings. I’ve grown to LOVE my junk food and you know how irritable I get when you take it away!

Higher Mind: Look, we’ll get a massage, we’ll go to the park, out to dinner. Just keep doing deep breathing and remember this is temporary.

Cells: Okay, Okay, but this is a stretch for me. It’s a leap of faith because my cells don’t know this one!

Higher Mind: I know, but this time we’re going to go through change differently this time. We’re going to get you a ton of support and it won’t be painful the way it’s been in the past.

Moral of the story:

  1. Every time you break a habit, a natural stage of chaos occurs first. Remember this is natural. Remind your cells they won’t die as you pass through it before finding homeostasis.
  2. Have a healing dialogue with your cells and your higher mind. Let your cells talk to you! They have a lot of wisdom if you simply pay attention.
  3. Getting better at change requires correct understanding and practice of new skills. Transitions don’t have to be so stressful, it gets easier with practice!

Laura Fine Laura L. Fine, Lionheart Founder

Managing transitions in life relationships is part of a healing process. Lionheart Institute of Transpersonal Energy Healing teaches you how to become an Energy Healer so you can heal yourself, facilitate healing for others and build a career as an Energy Healing Counselor. Lionheart offers a FREE introductory course each month. To sign up for the next one go to http://lionheartinstitute.com/energy-healing/.